This Is My Canvas
There have been so many moments in my life where I have felt inadequate by thinking: I’m not naturally pretty enough to go with out makeup. I’m neither beauty or brains. My nose is too big. Why don’t I look like the girls in that magazine? And so on.
I’ve professed my support of self love over the past year more than ever. And if I’m being completely honest it’s taken me this long (and still even improving now) to love myself more than I ever have before. The growth of self love has blossomed with the help of some role models but I want to give myself credit as well. I have been working hard this year to feel more comfortable in my own skin and I wanted this blog post to be a milestone of working towards overcoming this specific struggle within my life.
I chose to name this post as I did because with out all of the makeup or editing, this body is my canvas. I paint my face with different colors to hide the white blotchy unwanted tone. I try to cover my canvas with material to hide imperfections society or mental demons have created to be flaws. I know I should treat this canvas of mine with more respect because it is the only one in this lifetime that I can obtain. Which is why I am sharing this here to hold myself more accountable. While I love makeup and taking time to do my hair in interesting ways, there are days where I wish I could just run errands and not be so embarrassed of my own skin. I want to stress the idea, especially for myself, that makeup is NOT necessary. I typically enjoy taking the time for me to be artistic daily and focus on myself for 15 minutes before my day begins, but I want to be comfortable within the fact that makeup isn't required to feel okay.
Take your make-up off
Let your hair down
Take a breath
Look into the mirror, at yourself
Don't you like you?
'Cause I like you
-- Colbie Caillat --
She craves attention, she praises an image
She prays to be sculpted by the sculptor
Oh, she don't see the light that's shining
Deeper than the eyes can find it
Maybe we have made her blind
So she tries to cover up her pain and cut her woes away
'Cause cover girls don't cry after their face is made
But there's a hope that's waiting for you in the dark
You should know you're beautiful just the way you are
And you don't have to change a thing, the world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we're stars and we're beautiful
-- Alessia Cara --
I recently discussed on my Instagram page within a post how I’ve fallen more in love with my body a little more every day. I take steps back just like anyone else. But as long as I’m making progress, that’s everything to me. I’m falling more in love with my curves, artsy arms, my lips, and my naturally straight hair. I’ve learned to dance a little and be silly in front of the mirror instead of ripping myself apart with cruel thoughts. It’s been a work in progress since my first memory of hating my body 11 years ago in the 4th grade. Wishing I was different in any way. Wearing jackets in 90 degree weather. Doing anything to not be me. It’s a lot for someone to keep all of this to themselves, but keeping a positive mindset and living a happy life with incredible role models has helped me so much when working towards self love.
I love any chance to share more of my heart here within my little place in the world. I hope some of you leave after reading this to realize so many of the things society focuses on are not necessary and that you are only given one canvas that is your own. You may paint it, punch holes in it, make it your own. But try to treat it kindly. Just think of all the amazing places it has taken you and will continue to take you.
Thanks for reading,
Lady In Thought